Why Am I So Anxious All the Time??!!

It’s a question so many of us ask ourselves:

“Why do I feel like this? Why is my mind racing? Why does it feel hard to breathe? Why is my body on edge when everything seems “fine?”

To begin answering these questions, we need to understand what anxiety actually is.

What Is Anxiety?

At its core, anxiety is an internal sense of insecurity. It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do; trying to keep you safe.

Your body is wired for survival. It is constantly scanning for danger - real or perceived - and when it detects a threat, it activates a response: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This isn’t a flaw; it’s a deeply intelligent system built to protect you.

However, this system can sometimes become overactive. Instead of responding only to immediate danger, it begins reacting to possibilities, memories or subtle emotional cues. When that happens, anxiety can start to feel constant, overwhelming or out of proportion.

Where Does Anxiety Come From?

Anxiety is often rooted in past experiences that are still held within the nervous system. These might include:

• Painful or distressing memories

• Unexpressed anger

• Shame or embarrassment

• Fear or trauma

Even when these experiences are no longer happening, the body may still carry their imprint. It remembers what once felt unsafe and tries to prevent it from happening again.

The Pressures of Modern Life

Modern life also places our nervous systems under constant strain. We are asked to do more and move faster. Smartphones keep us perpetually connected. We rush from one task to the next with little time to rest.

At the same time, we are bombarded with sensory stressors - notifications, alarms and other intrusive noises, bright lights, negative information and news. We drink too much alcohol or caffeine; we over eat and the wrong kinds of food. Over time, this can leave the nervous system feeling overloaded and on high alert.

Calming Anxiety in the Moment

There are many ways to soothe anxiety when it arises. The first step is recognising what’s happening - that your nervous system has been activated.

From there, you might try:

• Slow, conscious breathing

• Grounding yourself in the present moment

• Noticing your surroundings

• Bringing awareness back into your body

These practices can signal to your nervous system that, in this moment, you are safe. They can create space and offer immediate relief - but they are only part of the picture.

Going Deeper: Creating Real Safety

What we’re really seeking is not just temporary calm, but a deeper and more lasting sense of safety within ourselves. This means supporting your mind, body, and emotional world so they feel secure enough to navigate life’s uncertainties. One of the most powerful - and often overlooked - ways to do this is by attending to your boundaries.

The Role of Boundaries

Our own personal boundaries keep us safe and secure. We don’t feel safe when our boundaries are unclear or repeatedly crossed. And boundaries aren’t just about saying “no” to others; they exist across many areas of life:

• Emotional boundaries

• Physical boundaries

• Sexual boundaries

• Mental boundaries

• Social boundaries

• Financial boundaries

When these boundaries are weak, ignored or constantly challenged, your nervous system remains on alert. It doesn’t fully trust that you are protected.

Consider some common sources of anxiety:

• Fear of rejection or judgment

• Not having enough money

• Feeling overwhelmed or out of control

• Being taken advantage of

• Not being heard or respected

Beneath many of these fears lies a deeper concern: that your boundaries may not hold, and that you won’t be able to keep yourself safe. Think for example of what happens when someone you don’t know accidentally bumps into you in the street - you might respond with anger (fight response) or start apologising yourself as if you were the one who’d encroached into their physical space not the other way round (fawn response).

Strengthening Your Boundaries and Your Sense of Self

This is where meaningful change begins. By exploring your boundaries, you can begin to understand:

• Where they are strong

• Where they feel unclear or unstable

• What tends to weaken them

• How to reinforce them in ways that feel authentic and sustainable

‍As your boundaries strengthen, you may notice a deeper sense of calm and ease in your body and your mind, and a feeling that you’re safe and in control. Not because the world has changed, but because your relationship to it has.

Moving Forward

‍Anxiety isn’t something to “get rid of.” It’s something to listen to. It’s a signal that some part of you doesn’t feel safe. With patience, awareness and the right support, it’s possible to move from constant alertness towards resilience and trust.

‍‍And that journey begins not by fighting anxiety, but by asking:

“What is my body trying to protect me from, and how can I help it feel safe again?”

‍A helpful place to start is by noticing your anxious state through regular mindfulness and body-awareness practices such as yoga, tai chi or meditation. These can support greater awareness and help you learn to regulate your nervous system.

‍‍From there, you might choose to work with a therapist or counsellor to explore how past experiences may be shaping your responses. This deeper work can also help you strengthen your boundaries, so you feel more grounded and able to remain safe, even under pressure.

‍If you want to help to feel genuinely more at ease with yourself as you navigate your way through life and are interested in working outdoors with a creative and embodied approach, check out my website: www.lucindaweis.com and/or get in touch: lucinda@lucindaweis.com.‍ ‍